After enduring Russell Crowe’s appalling English accent in Ridley Scott’s risible ‘A Good Year’, we felt inspired to compile our Top Ten Worst Movie Accents.
1. Sean Connery in The Untouchables (1987)
While he may have won a best supporting actor Oscar for his portrayal of Irish cop Jim Malone in this gangster classic, he certainly wasn’t scoring many points for his Irish tinged with baritone Highland burr.
2. Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins (1964)
Dyke’s much-maligned efforts to imitate an east London accent in Mary Poppins couldn’t even blag him a role as an extra in EastEnders. Don Cheadle follows close behind in the cringey mock cockney stakes for his attempts in Ocean’s 11, 12 and 13.
3. Brad Pitt in Seven Years in Tibet (1997)
Pitt’s odd portrayal of an Austrian explorer in Seven Years in Tibet actually makes the film feel as long as its title suggests. Good job he’s suitably pleasing on the eye, if not on the ear.
4. Charlton Heston in A Touch of Evil (1958)
Heston’s role as a Mexican narcotics investigator has to be one of the oddest castings in history. Bet the make-up team had a good chuckle sticking on the pencil moustache and fake tan to convince the audience he was suitably ‘Mexican’.
5. Heather Graham in From Hell (2001)
Graham’s attempt at a cockney accent for her portrayal of a London prostitute in this Jack the Ripper film, is indeed from hell. But then again, we’re pretty sure the Hughes Brothers didn’t choose Graham for her acting abilities…
6. Keanu Reeves in Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)
Gary Oldman as Count Dracula? Nice one. Anthony Hopkins as his nemesis Van Helsing? Yeah, I can see that working. Keanu Reeves as Jonathan Harker? Uh oh. Francis Ford Coppola’s colossal casting cock-up scuppered Dracula in the very first act.
7. Julia Roberts in Mary Reilly (1996)
Despite Roberts claiming she wanted her voice to be ‘authentic’, her efforts at an Irish brogue were more Corrs-light than corking celtic. Sack the diction coach.
8. Laurence Olivier in The Jazz Singer (1980)
Lord Olivier’s Jewish accent in the 1980 remake of The Jazz Singer was, frankly, rubbish… but not half as amusing as his badly boot-polished complexion for his portrayal of Othello.
9. Pete Postlethwaite in The Usual Suspects (1995)
While we love Pete, the role of Kobayashi in The Usual Suspects didn’t exactly sit comfortably with his broad Yorkshire tones and distinctly non-Eastern appearance. The result? A decidedly uncomfortable Japanese-Bradford hybrid.
10. Kevin Costner in Robin Hood : Prince Of Thieves (1991)
I know what you’re thinking: surely we can’t put Kevin Costner in this list as he doesn’t do an accent. But his complete lack of effort, coupled with the feat of re-naming the Midlands city ‘Noddingham’ earn him a well-deserved place.
Brion James in Tango and Cash has the funniest attempt at an angry Brit accent I have ever heard…