A Guide to Surviving the Movie Apocalypse

Ah, the movie apocalypse. We know them well. From Independence Day to Shaun of the Dead, there’s nothing better than watching humans battle against un-dead creatures, natural disasters and lab-created infections. World War Z joins this list of stellar cinema, and you can now own it on DVD and Blu-Ray.

World War Z

Missed it when it came into cinemas? Directed by Marc Forster and starring Brad Pitt, World War Z was adapted from the 2006 novel of the same name by Max Brooks.

The story goes like this: former UN employee Gerry Lane and his family battle to survive when a global plague transforms the infected into terrifying un-dead intent on wiping out all living humans. With armies, governments and the general population rapidly falling victim, it’s a race against time to preserve humanity.

The zombie apocalypse is just one of a variety of apocalypses on our cinema and television screens that regularly threatens to wipe out all life on earth. Fans of I Am Legend and The Walking Dead will be well prepared by now, but if you’re not, here’s our handy survival guide, which should help you successfully navigate any type of movie apocalypse.

The Pandemic Apocalypse

There are lots of handy tips on the dos and don’ts when faced with the kind of movie apocalypse found in World War Z – where a virus drives the infected to attack and infect the living. But fingers crossed for that one! It might be easier to survive the relatively tamer form of pandemic, where a deadly and highly infectious disease is likely to wipe out a large proportion of the global population.

If it is that type of pandemic that hits, then we’d advise isolating yourself as quickly as possible and maintaining impeccable levels of personal hygiene. That’s right, this is an apocalypse that you could survive simply by washing your hands! Depending on the strength of the virus it may not work, but at least you’re giving yourself a fighting chance. Remember: coughs and sneezes spread diseases, so trap them with your handkerchief.

The Human Apocalypse

If there’s an evil organisation or maniacal villain on the loose, hell-bent on destroying humanity, then we’d advise steering clear of major cities. Just this summer we’ve seen COBRA absolutely level London in G.I. Joe: Retaliation, and then Khan crashed an enormous spaceship straight into San Francisco in Star Trek Into Darkness.

If you want to survive this particular type of movie apocalypse, then we’d advise settling down in the suburbs. Or better still, how about the countryside? Or maybe the desert! Or the Arctic! Basically get yourself to somewhere as remote as possible, and start running in the opposite direction if you ever spot a major landmark – they’re prone to blowing up, too! Whatever you do, stay away from downtown as that is the favourite spot for these guys to destroy.

The Alien Apocalypse

The thing about aliens is that they can turn up literally anywhere. They could be attacking major cities, hiding out in the remotest locations imaginable, acclimatising to life on planet earth in the suburbs, or getting busy abducting humans wherever they can find them. There’s nowhere safe to hide. And it’s not just anywhere… it’s any-when!

In Cowboys and Aliens we saw aliens invading the Old West. So it seems even time travel can’t save you from an invasion. Your best hope is that the extra-terrestrials have come in peace, or at the very least that they’re a little misunderstood and just want to go home, like Super 8’s alien invader. In that case, reasoning with the aliens and trying to help them leave may be a good approach, but that’s still going to be risky unless you’re absolutely sure the alien’s not going to attack.

We’d advise attracting as little attention to yourself as possible until they’re either defeated or leave. Perhaps find a quiet cellar somewhere you can hide out. And if they stay for good, well, then prepare to bow down and serve your new alien overlords!

The Technological Apocalypse

Turn off the WiFi! Throw out your mobile phone! Unplug the microwave! You really can’t trust anything electrical if the machines rise. The technological apocalypse is usually brought about when humans develop technology to the point that some machines have their own artificial intelligence… but then those intelligent machines decide they don’t want to serve their malevolent human owners any more and attempt to overthrow them.

When the machines do attack – and we’ll be seeing it happen again before long when the latest Terminator hits cinemas in 2015 – it may already be too late to save yourself, unless you take yourself completely off the grid and outside of their reach. We’re thinking of the Arctic again, or anywhere that there’s as little technology as possible. Our only other advice is to treat the machines better before they attack, in the hope that that when they do they’ll spare the ones who were kind to them.

Maybe you could start by being be a little more polite to Siri next time you ask her for directions. “Pretty Siri. Nice Siri. I love you Siri.”

World War Z is out on Blu-Ray, DVD and digital download now.

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